


Groceries

by Elektron124



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, D. Va plays to win, Gen, I tried to make it funny, first fic, suggest tags in the comments pls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 09:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7526959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elektron124/pseuds/Elektron124
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Reaper returns from his grocery run, hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Groceries

**Author's Note:**

> First fic here on the Archive! Hai guys!  
> Inspired by a [ voice post on tumblr.](http://cinnamonrolltracer.tumblr.com/post/147475468783/scuzer-franziskavonkarma-listen-to-this%E2%80%9D)

Hana Song was sitting on the couch in the living room, eyes trained firmly on the TV screen before her.

She tilted her controller slightly to the left... And promptly fell off the side of the racetrack.

"Dammit!" she exclaimed.

Beside her, Lúcio smirked. "Welcome to Rainbow Road," he said, "Prepare to fall off the track a lot."

Determined not to lose to this nuisance, she focused on the track once more, swerving around the next turn. Smashing into an item box, she collected a certain item...

"Hey Lúcio?"

"Mm?"

"Nerf this." On cue, the blue shell exploded, allowing 2nd Place Peach to catch up and ram him off the track. Serves him right. Never mind the fact that she was still in 7th place. Really. At least it was only the first lap.

The doorbell rang - probably Reaper, they did send him to get groceries after all. Not long after, he (floated? Drifted? She wasn't sure what to call it) through the doorway. She squashed the instinct to look up.

"So, did you put everything in the fridge this time?" queried Jack.

Reaper sighed, voice raspy. "THE GAME'S IN THE REFRIGERATOR. THE DOOR'S CLOSED. THE LIGHT'S OUT. THE EGGS ARE COOLING. THE BUTTER'S GETTING HARD. AND THE JELL-O'S JIGGLING." he intoned.

Hana stifled a laugh. Innuendos sounded way better when spoken in a distorted monotone. Better not in the "hot" sense, but in the "laughably pathetic" sense.

Next to her, Lúcio chuckled.

Hana giggled, amusement bubbling inside of her, and suddenly they were both laughing, snorting, genuine laughs that made their sides hurt afterwards. Reaper, unsurprisingly, was not amused. "WHAT IS SO FUNNY," he intoned, making them laugh harder. "I WAS MERELY CONVERSING WITH JACK." When they didn't stop, Reaper stormed out of the room, muttering curses as he left. With a sigh and a groan, Jack rose from his armchair and followed him out.

"Aw, shit! I'm in 11th place!"

 

They had forgotten about Mario Kart.

Well, it certainly was rematch time now.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If there's any typos I made please tell me in the comments so I can fix them.  
> If you enjoy shameless overwatch blog reblogging and memery, you should follow me [here](http://elektron1dercov4.tumblr.com)


End file.
